Today, I sat on a 4-hour conference call. No one should have to endure a call that long. After 25 minutes I totally zoned out and went into a state of fidget.
I surfed the web. I checked and re-checked my e-mail accounts. I got on my hands and knees and went under my desk to tinker with the wires down below. Got back to my chair and checked the weather, my stocks and my horoscope. I bounced my rubber stress ball off the wall. I checked the local news and national news and watched a video of a town overrun by chickens.
When our CFO got on the call to go over the financials, I left my office and went to the bathroom. No one missed me. No one knew I was gone. And no one was going to ask me any questions.
When I sat back down, I repeated a few of the previous routines because I had only killed about an hour.
And then I started playing with features on my cell phone. I checked my contact list. I put a couple of scenarios into my tip calculator, like splitting a $32.14 bill six ways. I changed my background wallpaper a few times and then put it back to the original because I liked that one the best. From my window, I videotaped a work crew across from my building paint white stripes on a newly paved blacktop parking lot. I erased it, though, because I was too far away and the image was too shaky.
I switched to the camera feature and took a few snapshots of things outside, like a plane flying by and ferry boat going down the Hudson. I erased those as well because they came out blurry.
I took some close-up shots of things in my office, like my computer screen, my hand on the keyboard, some plaques on the wall. Those were cool.
But then I tried to take some self portraits of me sitting at my desk. All I got was my fat face. I could've been anywhere. I played with a few more angles and then reached way behind my back and got a birdseye view of me sitting at my desk in front of my computer.
I freaked out. What the hell was that bald spot doing on my head???
Best of 2016
2 months ago