Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Birthday Bliss

Today is my wife's birthday. We are pretty low key about birthday's around here, so we don't do much for each other. That's why every year is such a let down.

This year was somewhat of a milestone for her and I suppose I should have planned something.

But I didn't have to. Her friends decided to surprise her with a "girl's" party. It was a win-win for me because I only had to supply a list of invitees to the organizer (so now I can claim I did something), and it got her out of the house for the evening.

Okay, I'm not that callous. I did take her for a nice lunch during the day - just the two of us. Although, she complained all afternoon that her stomach hurt after the meal. (My meal was perfectly fine).

Perhaps, it was the dessert place we went to afterwards. Don't you just love the sign from the restaurant?

While my wife was out being surprised and getting toasted, I thought I would do one other nice thing - make the next day's lunch for the kids. My wife already put out the brown paper bags with their names on them. All I had to do was stuff them with food.

I asked my daughter what she usually gets.

"Why are you asking me?"

"I'm making lunches."

"Do you know how?"

"Just tell me what you want."

"Turkey, not the regular turkey, but the honey roasted one, with a little mayo, Swiss cheese on a roll. Not a round roll, a long roll cut in half."

"Okay." I headed downstairs, but she wasn't done.

"Two Kit-Kat bars, a bag of popcorn and a small water bottle. Not the tall ones, the tiny ones."

I knew if I didn't get it right, I'd never hear the end of it. I thought I would just stuff her bag with a ten dollar bill instead.

I asked my eldest son what he gets.

"Peanut butter and jelly."

"That's it?"


"Nothing else?"


Perfect. That one would be a slam dunk. What a good kid.

And finally, I asked the middle child, the one who is so studious and upstanding, what he wanted.

"Don't make me anything."


"I don't want you messing it up."

"What's to mess up?"

He was trying to be diplomatic.

"Let's just have mom do it in the morning."

"It's mom's birthday. I'm trying to save her some work here, so just tell me what you want."

"You're trying to look good, right?"

"I'm just trying to make every one's life a bit easier. Now, tell me what you're gonna eat."

"I'll make it myself in the morning."

"Come on, this is crazy. I'm making everything now so we don't have to rush around in the morning."

"If you make it now, it'll be soggy by the morning and I'll just throw it away."

I threw his empty bag into the refrigerator for safekeeping.

When my wife came home she asked me where all the lunch bags were (after she told me how much fun she had).

I just smiled.

"You made the lunches?"

"Of course."

She shook her head. "I make them in the morning because the kids complained about how soggy their food got."

She opened the refrigerator, emptied the bags and took apart the lunches. "I'll put them together in the morning. This way things will stay fresh if they're not pressed up against each other for so long."

That last line reminded of why most married couples don't have much sex. Maybe they're just trying to stay fresh?

Hope you had one hell of a birthday, honey!

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