Probably not. Everyone I mention this to says the same thing: "That's never happened to me."
Well, it happened to my son - the guy who lives a charmed life. This account comes via my wife who got the lowdown from my son under the condition that she would not tell me. Heh, heh.
My 6 foot tall son and his teammate from the high school basketball team were in town the other night, just hanging out on a nice summer evening. After doing all you can do in a small downtown, the two decided to head back to my son's friend's house. It was just getting dark but they decided to take the shortcut through the town park - a nice open, grassy field with a small lake on one side.
"Do you know what happened?" my wife asked.
"No." Of course, I'm thinking that they got robbed or someone tried to sell them drugs or they found a dead person. "Why would I know. You haven't told me anything worthwhile yet."
She proceeds with horror to tell me two girls called out to the boys: "Hey, cuties!"
My mind raced wistfully. "We've got hookers in town????"
"What? No! Two girls, 15 and 16, started talking to them."
Okay. My son is 15 and so is his friend. What's the big deal? Why was my wife so irate?
"They weren't from our town. They were strangers from the next town over and the boys brought them back to the house."
"And your son played kissy-face all night."
"Really? With two girls they just met?" I said.
She nodded wildly, "Can you imagine the type of girl who would do that?"
Yes. All too often.
The next day I cornered my son, who looked suddenly quite mature in my eyes.
"Hey, mom told me you had some fun last night." [Totally blew mom's trust there.]
My son tried to play it cool for a few seconds, then smirked a bit. "It was a one time thing."
"You have to be careful. One thing can lead to another and then you're a dad."
"I'm not stupid. I would use a condom."
"Where would you get them?"
"My friend has a bunch in his drawer. His mother stocks it."
I nodded (trying to contain my shock and awe). "Did you need one last night?"
He looked at me with disdain. "No. We just kissed." He went back to watching ESPNZone.
I waited a few more seconds. "You know, those aren't the type of girls you would want as girlfriends."
"I'm not looking for a girlfriend. I was just looking for fun."
I smiled, nodded. "Summer fun. Enjoy it 'cause it may never happen again."
He smiled back, "I know."
I reflected on that bonding moment. Perhaps, I could share a similar story with him on the sly. But, of course, I had none.
Then my smile disappeared. Shit! I have 13 year-old daughter. What if she is the one hanging out in the park one day?
I left the family room and rushed up to my daughter's bedroom. I had to remind her how awful boys are.
I ran into her room. She was laying on her stomach atop her bed with her laptop in front of her. She strained her neck back at me. "You're intruding."
"What are you doing?" She went back to her screen.
"I'm posting photos from our beach vacation. Now get out!"
I walked closer. Peeked over her shoulder and saw the photos. Bikini!!!!
When it comes down to it, we’re all just gonna be some skin and bones left on this so-called plate of life. It’s pure hell if you think about it.
And lately, I’ve had a lot of time to think about it. You see, I’m convinced that I’m already dead and this is hell.
That’s been my mantra for a while. I know it’s not too uplifting, believe me I know.
What brought me to this dismal conclusion? That’s what this blog is about - a collection of stories, examples, proofs, etc., that show without hesitation that I’m already dead and this is hell.
But don’t let me take the limelight. I know after you read some of these entries, you’ll find examples in your own “life” that will enable that light bulb to pop on and help you explain the inexplicable. You’ll soon realize that WE'RE already dead and living uncomfortably together in hell. So please, feel free to send me your stories, or just browse through mine. As Freud said, “It’s therapeutic, Mrs. Pappenheim.”