Eyes Wide Shut

A close friend of mine is getting divorced. It kind of sucks.

Kind of, because he's got young children. Kind of, because he's a good guy who tried to make it work. And kind of, because it costs money to get divorced.

On the other hand, I get to live vicariously through him as he enters a new stage in his life - the dating market.

He says the last time he was with a 26-year old girl was the day he got married. Me, too! He says he's gonna go on a tear and make up for lost time. I'm right behind you - figuratively speaking!

I'm not glamorizing divorce but I do have to say the signs that things were not going to work for him were always there.


Me: How's the family?

Friend: Good, good. [pause] I just need to get my youngest to high school. After that, I'll figure out if my wife and I can tolerate each other.

Me: That's 10 years away. Are there problems?

Friend: [shocked] No, no. She's great. A wonderful mother.


Sometimes you have to convince yourself that everything is good because it's such a long haul to the finish line. Knowing that each day sucks is not the way to get through it.


Friend: [on phone] Hey honey, how are you? Uh-huh. Yeah. Oh, great. Really? Oh, I'm sorry. I'm so glad you worked it out. Uh-huh. Yes, I'll be home by six. Bye.

Me: Your wife?

Friend: Uh-huh.

Me: You're so nice and patient.

Friend: She just chewed me out for leaving the web browser open on the kitchen computer.

Me: But you were so nice and patient.


Sometimes you have to just let it blurt out. Bottling it up inside can kill you - or fuck with your digestive tract.

But sometimes, you should be caned across the ass for being such a fuck-wit to the whole situation.


Me: [standing in the hallway of my friend's home] Who put this artwork on the wall?

Friend: That? My wife. She's supporting some local artist.

Me: Did you ever look at?

Friend: Not really.

Me: You should've.


On the wall were four separate, same-sized, glass frames of "art". Underneath the glass were embroidered linens with simple stitched illustrations and text. I've included two of them here:

These happened to be sitting outside his former marital bedroom. They'd been hanging for a couple of months prior to his wife asking for a divorce. Hello, McFly?